I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
How's work?
Spinning.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
