She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
