last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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