Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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