remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
