Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
