So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
