Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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