it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
