When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
