I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
