The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
