who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
