I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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