I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize