i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
