I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
