I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
