That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
