brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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