I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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