If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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