Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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