3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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