one two three fourrrrnication!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
