Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
