So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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