Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
