Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
