You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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