i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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