Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize