The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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