How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
