I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
