i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
