I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
