i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
