i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
