I got chris browned last night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
