she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
