She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
