New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
