It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
