never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
