She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
