I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
