I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
