he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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