at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
