I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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