quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
