Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
