But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
