Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's never too late to be topless.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
