Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love you. Go after that dick
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
