glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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