After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
