make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Randomize
