ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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