He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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