No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
