so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
