Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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