i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
