in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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